Friday, November 21, 2008

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


You are falling.
Falling down on me.
Close my eyes, take you in.
You race as fast as you can.
Thousands of you at a time.
All wanting to be the first to kiss the earth.
Open my arms, I want to hug the world.
Open my mouth, I want to taste this life.
Listen, I want to hear God's song.
I want to dance to the harmony of his creations.
Breathe in, the aroma of simply existing.
This ritual calms my soul.
Spin in circles, round and round.
Maybe if I twirl long enough,
I can shake away my troubles.
Dreary Grey has become my god.
My sodden vessel has become my serenity.
Without you,
my world would have no blush.
Without you,
where would I find peace?
Please don't depart from me.
not just yet.
I fear the abandonment will be too much to bear.
The simplicity of what you are,
has saved who I am.


It's not that I don't believe that love exists,
because I do.
I just don't believe that idealistic, impractical, life altering,
enchanted, fairytale love exists.
Except, it's the only love I want.
It's the love I need.
How crazy is that?
My heart wants the kind of love
only found at blockbuster.
The funny thing is, I know I can't have it, and yet,
it consumes my mind.
It's what I keep waiting for.
Is it the certainty of its fiction,
that is, in fact, its appeal?
Can I expect what I know will never come?
And when I never witness this kind of love..
Would my lonesome disappointment
be justified?


auburn love.

fall is the season of champions.

The Last Night of My Addiction.

Head in my hands, Hands on my knees.
As your fingertips found their way to mine,
they demanded I understand their authority and geniality.
Unspoken gestures were all you gave,
you were never really good with words.
You were never really good for me at all.

On that final night, I frantically awaited.
For what?
I'll never be certain. I just needed something.
I needed you to fix, what you had broken.
And in this moment,
you sympathetically wiped the tears from my cheek.
Using only your thumb.
And just for a brief moment, a calm sense of serenity
hugged my spirit.
Was this it?
For four years now,
you were going to speak the words.
Words i had an infinite hunger for.

As your eyes searched to find mine,
I found myself emerged into a poised look you were giving.
One that recommended you wanted to save me.
Because on that night, I was broken.
I required saving.
I impatiently waited.
A quiver of anticipation in my heart.
My ears stood at attention.
Was this it?
I was going to be set free from these chains that bound me.

But Feat was never known.
Now so apparent.
Now so ever comprehensible.
I seeked liberation from the very thing that held me captive.

- December 23, 2007